Kevin's Dark Secret
It turns out that Kevin – you remember, the butcher’s boy from Plaistow – has a very dark secret! Emma found out all about him from Jimbo – you remember, her boyfriend that I was telling you about who was well equipped in everything but intelligence. Jimbo, it turns out, happened to be down Hammersmith way a while back. Oh, did I mention that Jimbo is a male stripper? That was what Emma’s big news was but I practically forgot all about it after she told me about Kevin. So anyway, it turns out that he, Jimbo I mean, knew him, Kevin I mean, as he, Jimbo, had seen him, Kevin, one night when he, Jimbo, was giving of his best.“Well, why didn’t you say?” I said, “I mean, why didn’t you tell me he was a stripper – by which I meant Kevin, not Jimbo – before I invited him back for coffee?”
I was thinking that if I’d known that I could have got him to do a quick turn in the privacy of my own flat but Emma, poor girl, assumed it was my Puritanical streak coming out and that I disapproved of such things. As if!
Anyway, she hummed and she hawed and she wouldn’t say exactly what she knew about Kevin, just to kid me along like. And then finally she comes out with it! Well, I tell you, I knew he was no butcher’s boy right from the start, but when Emma told me what he really does – well, you could have knocked me down with a bloomin’ feather!
Oh bloomin’ heck. There’s someone on the phone. Got to go….
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